Closing up, curling down, trapped I am – here

in the corner of this small existence.

Spine twisted, muscles ache, uncomfortable

position to be in – sitted...

Uncomfortable comfort of a couch –

constrained by exhaustion – surrendering

in this uncomfortable place to be:

– Oh, how to make this decision?

Feeling the warm touch of the sofa against

the bedroom's cold air – curled up, twisted spine.

The needs of a baby, basic needs of life

keep body and mind closed – too close to

the reality of the ground.

Daily decisions disguised as life or death

decisions to care for a new human life –

And so, the big decision becomes minor

next to the new big decision to be made

– all has changed in one week or two.

The truth of motherhood for one becomes

the lie for another one – woman.

The woman who looks with admiration

the new smile on her baby's expression:

over days, over weeks, over months... years!

– How on Earth have I done something on this scale?

The complexity stays on the moment

when something is done for the very first time.

Easy it is to look back – easy – it looks...

as placing one textile on top of other.

Drifting apart in different waves of thought,

waves towards other lands, waves from another

correnteza – com certeza leva

to places beyond what exists.

– What do I want? – the opposite prevails:

thinking about ALL the things – unwanted.

A vessel holds space to forgotten islands,

hidden lands – a tiny dot in the world map

surrounded by blue ink: water.

– Don't hold too much, my dear! Let ideas shift

along the way... with unkown destination.

Trust! Trust the end for now – limited by what's

behind four walls, closed in the reality

of the ground: baby cries out loud…